AHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate SAM. I seriously hate it. It's so problematic. DUH. Anyway, I feel so lost in school. Can't seem to get my feet planted firmly on the ground. This feeling is so dreadful. Feels like the whole world is gonna come crashing down...please don't shut me out. Recently, I've been thinking about my life since the O levels examination. Immediately after my exams, I went to perm my hair which really shocked a lot of people and I have no idea why. It was just something I have been wanting to do since I was in secondary 4. I must say that I really do have patience. Lol. I waited for TWO long years. I was in sec 5 in case you don't know. After that, I went to work for my dad. Gained some experience. Spent money. Went for consultations with my dear aunty phay for a couple of weeks. This was actually my 2nd job as a consultant. Having two jobs, I earned lots of cash which I saved until now. I'm saving for rainy days..in case..you know..something happens to me...I mean seriously, you never know. Ha Ha. Then I met Clifton and all the complications came in. A lot of people were shocked that I got myself involved with a guy. Lol. Maybe I look too DUH or toot or something. Perhaps, I don't look like someone who will be interested in guys? I'm telling you, I LOVE guys. Girls are always so fickle minded. Easily strayed and they can never make quick decisions. Girls are so insistent on their opinions and talk more than they listen. Listening is so important. I learnt this when I was in secondary 5. I used to talk more than listen and I'm changing. Girls are also wishy-washy about stuffs. I mean sometimes I'm like that too. That's why guys are so important. Girls are always afraid to speak up. AND WHAT IS MORE. The problem with some girls is that they act so cute-sy. It's sooooo OMG. I can't stand that. It's like hoping to make a guy want to protect them. I repeat, it's so OMG. Like it's so genuine, huh?. Sigh...and there are LOTS of girls who are like this in NP. OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGGG..please cover my eyes. Anyway, I'm nurtured by Hillgrove. I will never stoop so low as to be like that. I am ME. JUST PLAIN ME. Bernice, I'm sure you know what I mean. Sigh, I wish u were here with me. I'm so lost at times I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish you would just shake me to my senses or just scream in my ear and tell me everything is gonna be fine just like what u used to tell me when we were in sec 5. I wish wanyu would comfort me and always make me feel so positive about everything. I wish and I wish...I have so many wishes...I'm never satisfied....everyone just wants to be lying..I hate it..why is everyone trying to act like someone else...why can't they just be themselves. I love people because of their true colours, you know that!!! Don't you?!! Tell me that you do know. Please. Or...is it just me and my assumptions..